Unnamed Journal
by Charan-Amaya
Summary: 'If anyone was to describe Izaya in a few words, I assume the word 'horrible' would appear at least twice'.  An exert from Namie's personal journal.       I do NOT OWN Durarara! Really, I don't.        Updated erratically.
1. Chapter 1

_It started with Izaya, all of it. In Ikebukuro and Shinjuku, it seems that everything starts and ends with him being behind it in one way or another. At least, that's what I've come to learn in this first week of my new job._

_I'm not a person to write diaries, or personal journals. I don't know what has compelled me to write at all. I just started, I can't stop._

_Just a few weeks ago I was a 'gem' for the Yagiri Pharmaceutical Company of my family name. Now? Now I've become the personal assistant to possibly the most twisted man in the entire country—Izaya._

_I used to know him as an information broker, as a tracker—the best of the best. If you wanted to know anything, or find anyone, it was he you went to. I came to him wanting to find my brother. The end result was finding him, losing my job, and becoming his bitch, so to speak._

_After the downfall had finally occurred, he came to me with that damn smile on his face, sitting down and offering me a job…_

_I hear him, still, echoing in my mind, "So Miss Namie… Since the only option for you is to leave the country—or work for me, why don't you work for me? I do have an opening…"_

_I accepted, I do not tend to regret decisions, except the one involving that thing… But… It is a job._

_I didn't need one right away, my expenses are low—I keep Seiji on a decent budget. Everything else went into savings. I've been working since I was able for the company; I've saved up quite the sum. If it had not been an off-shore account, they would have seized the assets in the investigation. I've been in a sort of hiding since that incident._

_The pay isn't bad, much higher than one would for the title. If he wasn't such an intelligent man, and his work so sophisticated, I would be driven insane by boredom. I like to thing, to figure things out. To know, to wonder, to dissect, and to go towards goals—my only goal is to make sure Seiji is safe. He's back in school with that girl… _

_He does bother to check up more than he used to… I know where he is more often, it's better than way. If something ever happened to my darling Seiji…_

_I'd have to kill somebody._

_Life is different now. I went from a high-paying executive with people under me, so very many… to a secretary to the most twisted man around. I wonder if I'm another game to him… Perhaps I'll find out with time._

_There's a feeling that he has plans that I won't want to find out._

_There's another feeling that he just likes to observe me, that I'm interesting… _

_He puts me on edge, sometimes._

_He knows that. He likes it. I don't.

* * *

**Charan-Amaya:**_ You can guess what fandom I just got into-not to worry, if you're familiar with my works, great, if not... Well, I haven't tried out DRRR!

I can't wait to continue this, Namie's my favorite character. She also possibly one of the hardest to 'get' in a sense. Everyone seems to peg her wrong at times, it's a bit irritating.

But I was amused, and decided to try her out-and a bit of Izaya's lines. I haven't read a lot of the novels, since it's not fully translated. If ANY of you have links to the full English translation I'd like you to send it by in a review. I have a good chunk...

Izaya and Namie's relationship seems to become a canon pairing, in some twisted way. It's a frightening ordeal. -Shudder.- I hope I'm wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

_Eccentric—I assume that would be a word to describe my new 'boss' as. I find myself writing again, even when I brushed it off as silly. It is, writing is not going to help a thing, or harm it, for that matter. It must be a good outlet, he's frustrating to deal with—perplexing at other times. When I think I have him figured out, he becomes human, in a way. It isn't very often when I'm reminded he's human too._

_He's into a lot more than I first realized—illegal and legal activities alike. It's surprising that he can manage all of this; then again, I shouldn't be surprised. It is Izaya._

_The routine established is loose, work is done, cleaning, cooking… I feel as if I'm a housewife. I've been taking care of my brother for years, so many years—I've cooked, clean, bathed… I've raised him. It's not that difficult to do these things for Izaya. I see Seiji even less now than I used to—but I assume I work just a few more hours than I did. A lot less all-nighters, at least… I think so._

_That thing continues to stare at me from the shelf—with closed eyes. I still want to test it, and I want to throw it out at the same time. What is more powerful: my love for Seiji, or my fascination?_

_Of course it's my love for Seiji…_

_Three years of experimentation and I ended up with virtually nothing on that head…_

_He seems to have less sense on how to go about things with that disgusting piece of wasted flesh. He adores it, and he's fascinated with it. It seems all the men in my life end up entranced by that thing._

_If there's anything I've learned about my boss, besides his love of people, and fatty tuna…_

_He fears death._

_That fear, that strong fear of his… It makes him much more human than anyone else views him. Am I the only one privy to this information? I wish I knew… It feels like a secret. I feel like a child with a secret._

_I lack that childish urge to tell everyone around me. Perhaps that's what maturity truly is? I've always wondered…_

_

* * *

**Charan-Amaya:**_ I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with this. As I watch, and read, I keep getting this idea that they're at a point by vol. 5ish that they're...

That they tolerate one another, and have a sort of habitual existence that neither of them really get-even though there's that urge of betrayal, the human comforts of similarities for a time will prevent them from the use of change.

Creepy in my mind.


End file.
